Think you know all there is to know about picking up women?
You will be surprised at these 8 mistakes most men make when trying to approach a woman they like.
1. Starting Out On The Defensive
Ironically, the mistake a lot of men make when it comes to approaching women simply fearing the worst. This isn’t always true (at all), but once you start believing it is you’ll immediately be on the backfoot, trying to think of solutions to problems that really, haven’t even arisen. The last thing you want to do is see any woman as a ‘challenge’ or as though you need to learn any ‘tricks’ to persuade potential partners to talk to you. Doing this will be what puts women off, not the things you were initially worried about. Forget what you’ve heard, approaching a woman is not about game-playing. Women will always rather get to know a friendly guy who means what he says than someone who’s trying to play it cool.
2. Wrong Place:
Everywhere you go is not a pick up zone — you have to thoughtfully work out where you can actually approach women you don’t know. There is no point striking up conversation with a potential partner if they are already in a situation where they don’t feel like flirting: you’re dooming yourself to failure. For instance, t’s a safe bet to stick to bars, when women are more often than not feeling their best and already in the mood for socialising and open to getting to know people. The buzzy atmosphere of a bar also means that you can casually make conversation with less fear of rejection. Pick the right place where you know she isn’t feeling stressed out or busy.
3. Not Being sensitive to the situation: Sometimes, women just want to go out drinking and dancing. So seeing girl out having a good time does not necessarily mean they want to be approached by men. Be prepared that chances are that most people won’t be that interested in hanging out with strangers when they’re out to have a laugh with their mates. And if you get the vibe that you’ve interrupted a night that you’re not welcome on (if she’s not continuing the conversation, if she’s more interested in her friends) then just amicably excuse yourself to the bar and carry on with your night.
4. Being too drunk:
Being with a man who is in control is important to women. Women don’t want to be with a guy we have to force feed water during a night out, help go to the loo or keep from getting into fights at the bar. You’re also way more to get distracted from the woman you’re trying to talk to by other women, slur your words and just be generally unapologetic and annoying. Until you’re well into a relationship, avoid getting too drunk.
5.Using Pick-up Lines:
Sorry, guys, but everything you’ve learned about using pickup lines to start a conversation with women is dead wrong. There is nothing cheesier, less interesting or more of a turnoff than a guy who uses a standard opening line. Why? It shows he lacks confidence, period. It shows he’s literally spent time reading up on the best way to approach a woman and that he needs other guys to tell him what to say and how to act. Whatever you do, a simple hello is better than a bad line.
6. Not Asking Direct Questions
The worst thing a guy can do is come up to us and talk about himself for the entirety of the conversation. If you have to talk about how amazing you are, it’s probably because you’re not. Asking questions about her life shows you’re a considerate guy, and there’s more of a chance we’ll feel a connection — which will make it much easier to get a date.
7. Being Too Touchy
As a general rule — whether its approaching a woman you don’t yet know, or progressing things further once you make it to the bedroom, just echo the movements she makes towards you. Wait for her to make the move to make contact with you, and then do that too. Build up to different parts of the body, but do it following this routine. But regardless, don’t do this in the supermarket because although you might be getting good vibes from your partner in crime, you will creep out the other shoppers.
8. Concentrating Too Much On Her, Not You
Often, a guy will concentrate too much on what a woman’s reaction to him is rather than on the conversation taking place. If you’re overthinking what you’re supposed to say and where your hands are supposed to be (in your pockets? By your sides?), she’ll know. And it will get awkward. If anything, try thinking of approaching a woman as starting a conversation with a good friend — be casual about it, be a good listener and let her talk. Another way to think about it: If it works out you’ll gain a date. If it doesn’t, what are you really losing?