1. Say we’re ‘fine,’ when we’re really not fine:
If you haven’t done this, you have yet to graduate to womanhood. Nothing’s more frustrating that being angered by a man only to have him not understand why you are upset with him. Your only adequate recourse: say you’re ‘fine,’ and expect him to figure it out on his own. Obviously.
Why do we do this? In some cases, it’s because right after an argument, we haven’t gotten our thoughts together to adequately explain why we’re unhappy; in other cases it’s because we’re not feeling assertive enough in the moment to explain what’s bothering us.
Often enough, however, it results from just wanting the dude to know what’s up without us having to spell everything out for him which, we realize, isn’t always the best strategy.
2. Wear our highest heels on a date, then complain all night about how badly our feet hurt:
Dear all men everywhere, here’s why we do this. We wear the shoes because they look beautiful; we complain because they hurt. These two behaviors are not mutually exclusive. We hate to be the ones to break it to you, but this will probably never change.
If we wear our highest high heels on a date to the beach, the gym, on a bike ride, or to a football game in November, then you’re allowed to complain.
3. Ask if we look good in a new dress, then get upset when the response is anything but ‘absolutely, you look amazing.’:
This is something women do despite themselves. We aren’t stupid; we know going into it that this isn’t the greatest idea. And it’s illogical to boot: there is only one acceptable response (at least, if we’re dealing with a man who knows where his bread is buttered). And yet, we ask anyway. Why?
Probably because, like any human being, we enjoy being told we look good — which at the root stems from the desire to feel good. And despite the fact that we know we don’t need to ask for such approval, we still care what you think when it comes to certain items, like a pretty new dress we bought to wear to a big event with you.